Monday, April 9, 2012

Motherhood: A Messy Journey...Literally

Today's lesson: What not to do when your kid barfs in public!

But FIRST...

(Maniacal giggling...)

This post is not for fainting Fannies. It's about my morning. With my son. There's barf involved. Reader beware.

I believe very strongly in NOT pretending that motherhood or myself as a mom is a Leave it to Beaver picturesque scene. I am no June Cleaver. I can't remember the last time I wore a string of pearls or a lacy apron. Sorry, kids.

I didn't plan on being a stay-at-home mom. It happened by default when I was laid off. (In a slightly related note, I'd like to say that having been in both positions, I have nothing but respect for the full-time working mom AND the stay-at-home mom. Can the citizens of Mommy Land please stop tearing each other up for the choices we make with regards to career/stay at home-ness? Aren't we all on the same team? Can't we all just get along? Cue, "What the World Needs Now"...)  But I am thankful, thankful, thankful that we are in a position where my income loss no longer matters. I also wouldn't trade motherhood for anything in the whole wide world. Not even fresh, hot Krispy Kreme donuts. Believe me, that is saying a lot.

However, motherhood was extremely messy today.
At the grocery store with my son (henceforth to be known as Godzilla...he is the child my parents wished on me, AND the child my in-laws wished on my husband...good thing he's so darn cute and lovable), we were happily tooling over to the bakery where the kids get a free cookie. Godzilla commences cookie eating....gag....wait....are you okay, buddy?....Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamnnnnnnnn.
And there I am, holding cookie vomit. Because of course my instinct was to reach out and catch it....whuck?

CP, another fabulous barf-catching mom and our comrade in all things vamp trash and Harry Potter composed the following Haiku:

Mother of the Year

Cupped hand stretch, struggle
to contain free cookie barf.
We're covered in chunks...

But we rallied forth with a little help from the awesomesauce bakery ladies, a back-up outfit from the diaper bag, a whole lotta wipes, some kisses, and a sense of humor! Onward, to the dairy section!

In other news, specifically stitching news (KB, you can stop reading now), I had a lovely time this afternoon working on the Medieval Town Mandala. I partially finished four flower beds and reveled in the colors and silks. Suck it, London!

- Lauren

P.S. We heart you, CP! Thanks for your contribution and always enjoyable humor!


  1. I caught George's barf in a chicken nugget basket. I felt that I deserved a trophy.

  2. Agreed! There should be a red carpet parental awards ceremony. The categories...oy...the categories...

  3. I was not so fortunate. Try getting it out of the backseat of a car. In the folds, etc. Ew.

  4. I could totally get behind Red Carpet Parent Awards! To hell with coordinated outfits: I feel like a real champion when all of the boys are clean at the same time...

    And testify! This is me, nodding enthusiastically at the notion that we should be less judgy. (Unless, of course, we're talking about the sort who are self-labeled Christians opposed to anti-bullying legislation because it's their God-given and Constitutional right to be cruel and hateful; all bets are off with those folks.) I've gotten more unsolicited and unkind advice and criticism from other women than I care to dwell on. There are many reasons why I think this is, which I won't bore your blog with, but it would be lovely if we could all just tend our own gardens, and then have garden parties with genteel hats and fountains of mimosa and no mosquitoes allowed.

    (And thanks for the shout-out!)

  5. Good morning Lauren & Nikki !!!!!!!!!!!
    I finally figured out how to join this blog -- yea!!!!!!!! You two are awesomeness!!!! And my
    Paris is awesomebeautiful!!!!!!!!!!