Friday, May 18, 2012

Stitchy Sisters in the morning!!! (Or afternoon)

Please to be reading the title in a singsong voice ala 'Troy and Abed in the Morning' from 'Community'.

Since we've been a bit remiss in blogging lately this is your lucky day! This is SUPERBLOGDOPPLER5000!!! Now with 3-D technology and smell-o-vision! (Not really, we don't have that kind of money. But you can pretend.) And now, co-written for extra bloggy goodness... kick off this blog in the style of a talk show (blessedly without people yelling overtop of each other, but sadly without hot male guests), I'd like to introduce...meeeeeee!

Nikki:But we can't promise that a chair won't get thrown, the little people get belligerent sometimes.

Lauren:This is true. We should probably clarify that the children would be the chair throwers and not us throwing chairs at children. Dogs maybe. Specifically Miles. The dog with eleventy hundred lives. And zero brain cells.

Nikki:Oh Miles...

Lauren:In Miles escapades the past couple of weeks, the score is Gate being left open by the landscapers: 0, Miles: 1 and Little dog next door: 1 and Miles's nose: 0. So it's a draw.

Nikki:You forgot about 70lbs of Great Dane mix cowering from a fly in the house. Paint an accurate picture of the special for our readers, please.

Lauren:Oh, yes!!! Cowering and quaking in my lap because there's a fly...not even a horsefly or dragonfly...a regular old housefly!!! Oh look, here's his royal moron-ness now. Miles, how do you do it? How do you stay in the character of a total buffoon day in and day out? Do you subscribe to the school of method acting or are you just particularly suited to the role?

Miles: *chews on something that is not a dog toy and gets on the bed with no sense of shame.*

Nikki:You have to admit you collect the crazies. They find you somehow. Also, can I add that HOLY DAMN I put too much horseradish on my sandwich. Wow! Should have tried that a couple of weeks ago when I had a sinus infection, maybe it would have helped.

Lauren:Oh, damn! I don't know. I think the Percocet/Benadryl combo was pretty genius. (*Do not try this at home, kids.)

Nikki:No no no no! You're thinking of the two Lime a Rita (not bad, btw) benadryl combo from my allergy attack last week when I woke up three hours later and didn't know where the children were. (No worries, Mr. PotRoast was at home and had put them to bed. He rocks.)

Lauren:Duh! Silly me! I do get your benders confused. (*She really doesn't need a program, promise.) Question: If I had a salad for lunch, does that mean I can have extra Ginger Lemon Creme cookies?

Nikki:Answer: DUH! We've been over this before.

Lauren:Yesssssss! I should be stitching. AK might show up for a Paris inspection.

Interruption due to technical copy/paste difficulties (I told you we weren't fancy.) Now, back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

Lauren: oh look!

Nikki: Oh hi!

Lauren: Dude! Here's why I love Sarah Jessica Parker. She's hosting a fundraiser.
For Obama. She said, "It should be fabulous." EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Maybe I should have been more excited about the chance to win dinner with George Clooney, but I want to hang out with SJP! I didn't mean this for the blog. I just had to share as it was in my e-mail when I opened it up.

 Nikki: I'll probably incur your wrath, but I've never cared for her.
  LOL-too late!!!

 Lauren: WHUCK?!

 Nikki: She annoys me


 Nikki: Sorry.

 Lauren: FINE! When I win I won't take you.

 Nikki: FINE!

 Lauren: I will take George Clooney.

 Nikki: FINE! See if I care!

 Lauren: Now all bets on my Billie Piper snarkiness are OFF!

 Nikki: OH MY DAMNS!!! It's ON like Donkey Kong!!!

Lauren: Please to be inserting donkey kong video here...

Lauren: Why does Living Social think I need pole dancing classes? Like every other week. OR Boudoir photo shoots?

 Nikki: Or vajazalling?

 Lauren: YES! Let's discuss vajazalling.

 Nikki: Although in a way they are all kind of connected. Google thought I wanted Russian mail order brides once.

Lauren: Well, you do, don't you?

 Nikki: I don't know if they have to be from Russia.

Lauren: True. Back to vajazzling. Is there a way to insert a poll? We should see if we're the only people who believe paying for Swarovski crystals to be glued onto one's lady bits is nuts! (Pun totally intended.)

Nikki: *snort- You said 'Insert a poll'

Lauren: LOL! That's what she said!

Nikki: I'm not sure how to do a poll on blogger, but I encourage everyone to leave their opinions in the comment section and mayhaps we can revisit this topic at a later date with some quantifiable data to back up our hypothesis.

Lauren: Yes. That sounds good. So people....vajazalling....thoughts? (Carol's comments are likely to be epic. Also, her comment is likely to be the only one.)

Nikki: I disagree. And I double dog dare others to weigh in on this super important matter. Because I think it's ridonkulous.

Lauren: It IS an important issue. Much along the lines of nuclear waste and world peace. Also, only losers don't take a double dog dare. Gasp! Maybe we should send Katie Couric or Oprah an invite to our blog. I feel certain they would want to be in on this ground breaking discussion.

 Nikki: You know it. We are on the front lines.

Lauren: On to stitching news?

 Nikki: sigh-I suppose...Lauren doesn't want to talk about lady bits any more, I apologize if you're disappointed.

Lauren: LOL! I want you to know I just broke a nail. Blogging is DANGEROUS.

Nikki: I don't think we have worker's comp.

Lauren: SCHMIDT!

Nikki: So...stitching...I'm done with London THANK GOD! (no offense to your mom) But that piece deserves every bad thing said about it. It's gorgeous, don't get me wrong. I love looking at it, but it's a pain.

30 Hours. Suck it St. Paul's!

 Lauren: I know. You flicked off St.Paul's while watching Sherlock. That says it all.

 Nikki: I totally DID! Screw you St. Paul's!
 Lauren: But it's gorgeous.

Nikki: I know. But that doesn't take away from it's pain in the assness.

Lauren: No. No it doesn't. And in sampler news?

Nikki: Oh're boring me to tears right now. So sad! I've only done about two hours on sampler since my last update, I'm just not very motivated to do anything on her. But I did make sure the second peacock was finished, that was seriously bugging me.

Two Peacocks- I feel better
Lauren: Yes. You and your symmetry complex. MTM...

 Nikki: Yes!! Let's talk MTM since we FINALLY have all the fibers for it!

 Lauren: YES! I picked up the last two (kind of since apparently we will need 4 cards of the PH01 metallic...DOH!) fibers from my LNS. It only took the Waterlilies folks a bajillion weeks to ship one of them. Did my first two over-one butterflies. So pretty! I heart them. (Except that I have to do them again on the other corner.) And I've been PH01-ing but still have some more to go. Not much longer until it heads back to Nikki.

Nikki: and it is prettiness!!! 

Lauren: In gay Pear-reeeeeeee....

 Nikki: oui oui

 Lauren: The over one madness for the fleur-de-lis roundabout is DOOOOONE!!!!! (Imagine me saying that like Oprah.) I've done some more filling in of the center. Paris is slow going. The over-one work took many hours with little to show. Le sigh.

Lauren: Godzilla is awake. Doesn't he know that I'm blogging and had plans to stitch???

Nikki: Godzilla!!!!! I told you the little people were going to get belligerent!


  1. OMG...don't know where to start with my comments..............St. Paul's is magnificent!!! The sampler and MTM are also fabulous!!!! But, the creme-de-la-creme is, of course, my gay Paree -- ooh-la-la -- words cannot describe how utterly fabulous Paris looks!!!! Each addition is soooo's hard to believe 2 different people are stitching it -- the work looks so even and lovely...wish I could fondle it!!!!!!!!!!!!

    P.S. Can't resist a double dog dare -- just a small question -- could we get some grey crystals and VJZ the E.T.??? Or is the E.T. too
    big...maybe I should think of something not quite so big!!! Are we VJZing with thread or the hot glue gun...either might hurt the bits!!!!!!!

  2. Okay, firstly, I feel pressure to be epic. Thanks a lot. Like I don't already have enough issues to contend with, including the very public record of how you love AK more. I think I'll need to go back into therapy...

    Secondly, your stitching is lovely. This is, after all, a stitching blog, and thus I feel compelled and obligated to mention the stitching. I have no idea what the heck you're talking about when you start in on the details, but the photos are so very lovely. I'm sure they don't do it justice.

    Nikki, how do you stitch AND watch tv? I can't even knit and watch tv. I can knit and listen to tv, limiting me to shows/episodes I have essentially memorized. For the record, that is quite a catalog of viewing options, but still. But how fitting that you worked on London whilst watching Sherlock. Is there a nod somewhere, or is this super-stitching more high-brow? And just to throw in a vampire, since you continue to deny my request, I have several Buffy episodes verbatim. For realsies.

    Thirdly, sad to admit, but I had to Google vajazzling because I had no idea what that was. *hangs head in shame* But now that I do know? I can say I'm so grateful you lack the technology to pull off smell-o-vision. Sparkling or not, there are scratch-and-sniffs I don't need to sample, know what I'm sayin'? But wouldn't pole dancing and sparkly bits be mutually exclusive concepts? Occupational hazard? Seems like stuff would catch, or get pulled off. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...

    I frequently get ads showing me hot singles in my area. I've not decided if they know something I don't and are trying to send a message/warning, or if they're just encouraging extramarital affairs. Either way, I've seen the people in this area. Even with the not-single ones thrown in for good measure, there aren't that many hotties. I mean, there are probably like 4, and maybe 3 more just driving through on the way to somewhere else and had car trouble and stopped at the casino. They might not even count.

  3. Well, obviously I am not the only one who replies to your blog today. Nor am I as witty with the bon mots. But suffice it to say that I get excited every time I see the erection (did I just say that?) of the city of London! Excellent work, girls! I hope that you will enjoy the display when I hang it up in the entry hall (or in the living room, if you get your way, Lauren). Miles, you are an idiot.